On Grief and Loss

2927459418_ef45872b33Grieving a loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we can go through life. It is a difficult, personal and a universal process that each of us undergo. We all experience different stages of loss and grief. These stages do not necessarily come in order. We often transcend in between stages before we can finally peacefully accept the death of our loved one. Learning about these stages will help the bereaved and, most importantly, their loved ones in understanding what the bereaved is going through. This helps the loved ones to better help the bereaved in accepting the loss.

People grieve differently. There are some people who to hide what they are feeling and there are some who openly express how they feel. It is important, however, to avoid in judging how they grieve the loss of their loved one. The first stage is denial and isolation. People in this stage deny the reality of the situation. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the shock that the person experiences upon finding out the bad news. The next stage is anger. After the denial expires, people in this stage start to experience the harsh truth. This is where the blaming starts. People tend to seek for reasons and answers to the loss. They end up feeling the guilty of blaming others which makes us angrier.

The third stage is bargaining. In this stage, people tend to feel helpless and vulnerable. This is where they start to say the “If” or “What ifs.” They feel the need to regain control. The next stage is depression. People experiencing this stage tend to worry a lot. It is often accompanied by sadness. Therefore, don’t be surprised if you see the bereaved hugging the cremation urns of the deceased while crying. In this stage, it is important to remember to comfort the one grieving. A simple hug might make them feel at ease. The final stage is acceptance. This is one of the stages that most people have a hard time achieving. This is a stage wherein people tend to be in a calm state. This is when a person feels okay inholding the cremation jewelry of the deceased without freaking out.