People deal with death differently. Some find refuge in isolation. Others find comfort in the presence of friends and family. Sometimes, people prefer writing poems, creating something to dedicate to the departed or putting up a framed photograph. One of the most popular ways too, is through a song.
Songs have a way of tugging our heartstrings, especially in mourning. Most of the time, the lyrics we hear in passing become more meaningful when we are able to relate it with something moving. Experiencing loss through a song also helps us cope with our feelings. It aids us through the grieving process, until such time we come to accept our new reality.
There are many songs to dedicate to our departed, one of which is It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye by Boyz II Men. First performed by Motown artist, G.C Cameron, the song became more popular after the R&B group did their own a cappella rendition. It’s one song that has touched the lives of many, with plenty of celebrities and laymen dedicating it to their loved ones who passed away.
Let us go ahead and explore the song.
How do I say goodbye to what we had? / The good times that made us laugh / Outweigh the bad.
Whatever our relationship was with the deceased, it’s never smooth sailing. Whether the person was our spouse, friend or relative, there were times of argument, disagreement and perhaps, cooling off. When that person passes away, we tend to forget all the bad memories we may have had with the person. Instead, we are overwhelmed with the wonderful times we spent with them. Those days that person laughed and cried with us; those times that person was there for us. In death, we learn how to focus on the good and forget all the bad.
I thought we’d get to see forever / But forever’s gone away / It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
The unforgettable days we spend with the departed, we feel invincible. We enjoy every single moment with them. We continuously find time for each other just to make sure that every minute spent is spent wonderfully. Of course, in those days that we are happy and fulfilled, we don’t think about what could happen; how we are not in control of what could happen tomorrow. That’s why sudden deaths are the worst. We are overcome with feelings of sadness, guilt and even anger. Others even feel paralyzed and don’t know how to move on because death leaves us shocked and at a loss.
I don’t know where this road / Is going to lead / All I know is where we’ve been / And what we’ve been through.
In death, we try and gather the pieces together. Now that we have lost someone so near and dear to us, we’re not sure what to do next. We’ve gotten so used to the deceased’s presence, like spouses, that we don’t know what our next step would be.
We constantly ask ourselves, “What happens now?”. During these trying times, we may lock ourselves up in our room or seek support from others. Others become extremely withdrawn while some, reckless. All the while, we uphold the memory of our dearly beloved. It’s understandable, we are hurting after all. Every step towards healing and acceptance consists of us looking back to the good times. It’s our way to mend what is broken. The important thing here is for us to be guided by the amazing memories and try our best not to drive ourselves to the darkest corner.
If we get to see tomorrow / I hope it’s worth all the wait / It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Moving on is the single most challenging thing when we lose someone we love. When we are very close to the person who passed away, we feel that there’s no point in moving on with our lives; that it would be senseless to do anything without their presence. This is a strong phase of uncertainty that you could either find yourselves consumed by or guided by. Be that as it may, we give it our all to make our way to acceptance.
And I’ll take with me the memories / To be my sunshine after the rain / It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Memories are all that is left when someone dies. It’s what gets us going to come to terms with the new reality we are experiencing. It’s very difficult to make it through but it is not impossible. Whenever we feel like giving up, we remember those times that we had with that person and let those memories empower us; to give us the drive to wake up the next day. It will take a while for us to feel a sense of normalcy again. However, believing that we can go through this while we uphold our memory with the departed is what counts.