Friends fill a special place in life, playing an important role that no one else can. Many say that friends are the family you get to choose. That’s why when a friend dies, it may be difficult to handle your grief. How do you move on when you’ve lost a trusted confidant and shoulder to lean on?
It’s understandable to grieve the death of a friend in the same way you would a close family member. However, you may find it difficult to cope because the majority of mourners condole with the immediate family. You may feel left out on the sidelines, leaving you struggling with what to do now that your friend is gone. Here are some helpful tips to help with the loss of a best friend.
Touch Base with the Family
If you’re super close to a friend, you may know the family members, so it’s vital to reach out to offer support. And even if you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting the immediate family, reaching out to offer your deepest sympathies is a nice way to break the ice. From there, you can explain how close you are to the deceased. Share anecdotes about your life with your friend to provide comfort and alleviate their sense of longing.
Moreover, you can offer to do something concrete for them such as writing the online obituary, assisting with funeral arrangements, or simply helping with chores around the house. Apart from keeping you busy and distracting you from your sorrow, these gestures show the family that you care.
Create a Musical Repertoires
Music is a special language that transcends pain and touches the soul. People feel strong emotions when they hear music so it’s a good idea to create a playlist. Making a collection of songs that are special to you and your best friend has the power to heal and help you cope with your heartache.
Consider sharing it with your other friends or family members. They may even decide to play your compilation during the funeral or cremation services. If you need suggestions, check out these songs that speak about the loss of a friend:
I’ll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy ft. Faith Evans
See You Again by Carrie Underwood
There You’ll Be by Faith Hill
Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
Look at Old Photos
When you’re mourning the loss of your best friend, looking through old photos could be cathartic. You can even compile photos in a photo book so you can have a memento that you can look through whenever you miss your best friend. These pictures are a form of grief support since they will remind you of your happy experiences together, bringing you a great source of comfort.
These pictures show your memories and affirm your unique bond. They symbolize that what transpired between the two is extremely special and can withstand the test of time. And even death cannot sever this relationship nor take away your happy memories. You can even share the photos with family members, so they can see facets of your best friend that they may never have known.
Ask For a Memento
To ease your longing, you may want to ask the family if you can keep a memento of your friend from his or her things. It doesn’t have to be an expensive item. You can ask to keep a few shirts and make your own quilt.
It could also be something as simple as a stuffed toy, concert tickets, or a blanket. Having this item will provide comfort as you process your grief and navigate a new normal life without your best friend. Don’t be afraid to ask because your best friend’s family will understand your pain. Moreover, they will have to eventually let go of things.
Seek Out Mutual Friends
Having a best friend means you enjoy each other’s network from work to social organizations. The immediate family may not know these other friends. It would help to reach out to the family and ask for permission if you can break the sad news to your extended network.
Consulting the family is very important because some may want to break the news on their terms. Others also really value their privacy. If you’re granted permission, you must think of a tactful way to break the news. If you’re particularly close to a group who knows your best friend, you can find solace in their company, too.
Offer to Give a Eulogy
Finally, if the family is planning a memorial service, you can offer to give a eulogy during the ceremony. Ask the family if they will allow you to honor the memory of your friend with a speech. You don’t have to be the best writer or public speaker. What’s important is to say heartfelt words that show how your best friend made an impact in your life.
When you lose a best friend, you will likely go through emotional ups and downs. Take things one day at a time as you settle into your new routine without your best friend. Eventually, you will be able to venture out and do the things you used to do together without feeling sad. And remember, though your best friend may be physically gone, your love for each other is eternal.